Bacon AND Cheese? Madness.

Today we make bacon and chicken mac and cheese… well… rotini and cheese. I chose rotini for this recipe because it has more spirarly surface area to capture cheesy goodness.

Rotini Vs. Macaroni

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese1.  5 thin sliced chicken breasts, 6 strips of extra thick center cut bacon, a stick of butter, panko, flour, adobo, pepper, chicken boullion,  sharp yellow cheddar, smoked white cheddar, and a cheese with a fancy name like Gruyere. Now set your damn oven to 350.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese2. Season chicken with adobo and pepper, cut bacon into inch long pieces and grate cheese.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese

3. Bring enough water to boil for 8 servings of rotini according to the box, add 4 tablespoons of broth.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese4.  Add 8 services of rotini…obviously.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese5. Fry bacon in a pan

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese6. Set aside bacon and cook chicken in bacon fat. Remember, we don’t fast fucking precious bacon fat here.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese7. Slice chicken into pieces and set aside.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese8. Drain pasta but save broth. Melt a stick a butter (Paula Dean would approve) and add a half cup of flour and stir. Slowly add grated cheese and stir till smooth. Resist urges to eat all the cheese.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese9. Add pasta, bacon and chicken and stir that shit up.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese10. Place into a dish that will actually fit all of it and coat the top with panko crumbs. Bake in oven until the top browns.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese11. Enjoy bitches. Yes I burned part of it. Deal with it.

Today We Take It Easy Again

Not Done

Here is another quickie for you all, for those lazy days. I’m using bow-tie pasta because bow-ties ARE cool.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
1. Bow-tie pasta, Italian sausage, spinach, oil, cherry or sundried tomatoes, soy sauce.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
2. Chop that sausage.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
3. Cook four servings of that fancy ass pasta to its directions.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
4. Cook the sausage in some oil.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
5. Add a fist full of spinach. Yes, fist full is the measurement dammit.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
6. Add tomatoes

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
7. Add pasta and some soy sauce and stir

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
8. Enjoy… you lazy bastard.

Today We Make Saint Patrick’s Day Easy

What madness is this? A recipe using only FOUR ingredients?! Not even oil or salt because Bacon provides its own lubrication and deliciousness?! AND IT’S USING A SLOW COOKER SO I CAN DO OTHER SHIT WHILE IT COOKS DINNER FOR ME?! (And goes great with roasted potatoes). I was going to do my take on shepherd’s pie but I didn’t want to get into to the debate of whether it was English or Irish (can we use Engrish for that too?). However, A slow-cooked bacon kraut corned beef brisket was too delicious to pass up.

Slow Cooked Bacon Kraut Corned Beef Brisket1. That’s it. 6 slices of bacon 3-4 lb corned beef brisket, a bag of kraut and a box of beef broth!

Slow Cooked Bacon Kraut Corned Beef Brisket2. Cut up the bacon and fry it up till almost crispy. Throw it in the cooker

Slow Cooked Bacon Kraut Corned Beef Brisket3. WHOA WHOA! Don’t throw away perfectly good bacon grease! The hell is wrong with you? brown both sides of the brisket for a couple minutes in that delicious bacon fat. Throw it in the cooker

Slow Cooked Bacon Kraut Corned Beef Brisket4. Let the kraut fry for a couple minutes and soak up the rest. Throw it in the cooker

Slow Cooked Bacon Kraut Corned Beef Briske5. Add in enough broth to not quite cover the brisket. Cook for 6-8 hours on high and go to work or go shopping or take a nap. I don’t care just don’t stare at it for 8 hours like a dumbass

Slow Cooked Bacon Kraut Corned Beef Briske6. Have a happy St. Patrick’s Day.

Today We Talk About Competition

Sore Winners

I don’t really care. Unless I win. Then I REALLY REALLY care.

So I recently entered a meatball recipe competition at a local restaurant. Sadly I did not win but I’ll blog the recipe anyways. This comes on the heels of another G-D defeat where my friend, the author of Escaping the Cube Farm and Things Madame Loves, beat me at my own bake off. But enough about losing lets talk about WINNING! I have won a couple local food competitions (Okay they were fucking backyard cook-offs but whatever) and recently on an online community I had a chopped-ish throw down.

Prosciutto quesadilla with pinapple greenbean chutney and sweet potato chips.Prosciutto quesadilla with pinapple greenbean chutney and sweet potato chipsWe had to use green beans, pineapple, sweet potato and bacon’s classy cousin prosciutto.

Prosciutto quesadilla with pinapple greenbean chutney and sweet potato chipsI took that sweet potato to my mandolin because I thought sweet potato chips would be a good idea (and they were a good idea because I am awesome and full of good ideas despite my current losing streak)

Prosciutto quesadilla with pinapple greenbean chutney and sweet potato chipsAfter frying them up I sprinkled them with some truffled salt because as always I’m a fancy motherfucker

Prosciutto quesadilla with pinapple greenbean chutney and sweet potato chipsProsciutto quesadilla with pinapple greenbean chutney and sweet potato chipsI took the cooked green beans and pineapple and added some onion and spices to make some sort of…chutney like…thing…paste….sauce?

Prosciutto quesadilla with pinapple greenbean chutney and sweet potato chipsWorked a little CT magic and put it together and lightly toasted the quesadilla and BOOM! WINNAH! Lets just….forget about that meatball comp…and the bake off.

Today We Wrap Scallops In Awesome!

So anyone who knows me knows I have an unhealthy obsession with intense love for bacon. I wish I could marry bacon, have little bacon children, and eat them too.

1 - Screening
It’s that serious.

Bacon goes with everything and here is a little something I picked up years ago.

Bacon Wrapped Scallops

1. SHIT YOU NEED: Bacon, Sea Scallops, Sticks, Garlic, Olive Oil, Teriyaki, Red Pepper, Lemon Pepper

Bacon Wrapped Scallops

2. CUT ALL THEM SCALLOPS AND BACON IN HALF! Rub those sexy scallops down with olive oil.

baconscallops3

3. Put some Teriyaki in a bowl and some garlic and lemon pepper in another. Add half as much red pepper to the garlic and lemon pepper unless you want your mouth to catch fire!

Bacon Wrapped Scallops

4. STICK THOSE SUCKAS!

Bacon Wrapped Scallops

5. Roll in teriyaki and then in spice mix.

Bacon Wrapped Scallops

6. GRILL, BAKE, BROIL. I Don’t give a fuck just cook and enjoy!