Bacon AND Cheese? Madness.

Today we make bacon and chicken mac and cheese… well… rotini and cheese. I chose rotini for this recipe because it has more spirarly surface area to capture cheesy goodness.

Rotini Vs. Macaroni

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese1.  5 thin sliced chicken breasts, 6 strips of extra thick center cut bacon, a stick of butter, panko, flour, adobo, pepper, chicken boullion,  sharp yellow cheddar, smoked white cheddar, and a cheese with a fancy name like Gruyere. Now set your damn oven to 350.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese2. Season chicken with adobo and pepper, cut bacon into inch long pieces and grate cheese.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese

3. Bring enough water to boil for 8 servings of rotini according to the box, add 4 tablespoons of broth.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese4.  Add 8 services of rotini…obviously.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese5. Fry bacon in a pan

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese6. Set aside bacon and cook chicken in bacon fat. Remember, we don’t fast fucking precious bacon fat here.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese7. Slice chicken into pieces and set aside.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese8. Drain pasta but save broth. Melt a stick a butter (Paula Dean would approve) and add a half cup of flour and stir. Slowly add grated cheese and stir till smooth. Resist urges to eat all the cheese.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese9. Add pasta, bacon and chicken and stir that shit up.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese10. Place into a dish that will actually fit all of it and coat the top with panko crumbs. Bake in oven until the top browns.

Bacon and Chicken Mac and Cheese11. Enjoy bitches. Yes I burned part of it. Deal with it.

Today We Take It Easy Again

Not Done

Here is another quickie for you all, for those lazy days. I’m using bow-tie pasta because bow-ties ARE cool.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
1. Bow-tie pasta, Italian sausage, spinach, oil, cherry or sundried tomatoes, soy sauce.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
2. Chop that sausage.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
3. Cook four servings of that fancy ass pasta to its directions.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
4. Cook the sausage in some oil.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
5. Add a fist full of spinach. Yes, fist full is the measurement dammit.

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
6. Add tomatoes

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
7. Add pasta and some soy sauce and stir

Bowtie Pasta With Sausage and Tomatoes
8. Enjoy… you lazy bastard.

Today We Make Meatballs

"Actually could I have that to go?"

“Actually could I have that to go?”

So I mentioned a while ago that I entered a local meatball competition and lost. That’s what I get for choosing such a safe recipe! What do I have to do to win? Make Jamaican jerk turkey balls in brown sauce?! OH MY GOD I NEED TO MAKE THOSE! Anyways, here is the recipe for my Loser Balls Sketch Balls.

Bacon Gouda Meatballs1. What you need is a shit ton of things so I won’t bother listing them here.

Bacon Gouda Meatballs2. Chop up and fry a couple slices of bacon

Bacon Gouda Meatballs3. Chop up half an onion and try not to cry like a little baby about it.

Bacon Gouda Meatballs4. Shred a quarter pound of smoked gouda which I may or may not have bitten into first…

Bacon Gouda Meatballs5. Beat up and egg

Bacon Gouda Meatballs6.  Here’s the confusing part that I can’t do with my usual “flair”:

1/2 Tbsp Italian Seasoning
1/2 Tbsp Red Pepper Flakes
3/4 Tbsp Minced Garlic.
1 Tbsp worshestershire sauce
1 tsp adobo
1/2 tsp parsley

Bacon Gouda Meatballs7. Mix in the bacon and gouda and onions.

Bacon Gouda Meatballs8. Mix 1 1/4 pounds ground beef with 1/4 cup of bread crumb in and don’t go touching everything with your nasty-ass raw beef and egg hands.

Bacon Gouda Meatballs9. Form into balls and coat with olive oil. If you like big balls make big ones. If you like small ones then well…make em small.

Bacon Gouda Meatballs10. Bake in oven until desired internal donededness and then brown outside in oil in a pan.

Bacon Gouda Meatballs11. How could these lose anything?!

Bacon Gouda Meatballs12. I had mine that night with some simple red sauce which I may or may not give a recipe for at a later time. I added fresh basil leaves on top for extra fanciness.