Pucker up Emeril wannabes! I have received my first guest recipe. My buddy oksothen submits her sweet hot chili sauce recipe and, more importantly, you finally have photos taken by someone who doesn’t have photography skills akin to young Helen Keller directing a Broadway musical.
1. Shit you need: 3-4 lbs of assorted hot peppers (whatever the fuck you like), sugar, pectin, distilled vinegar, red food coloring. Also, wear gloves so you don’t burn out your eyes, mouth, lips or genitalia later when you touch them with your peppery-ass fingers.
2. Wash and clean seeds out of peppers. Chop until you have 4 cups worth of chopped up pepper. At the same time, measure out 5 cups of sugar.
3. Boil the peppers with 1 cup of vinegar and one package of pectin.
4. After a hot minute of boiling, add all that sweet ass sugar at once and bring the mixture back up to a boil. Stir that shit while it’s boiling
5. After a minute or so you can add some food coloring if you need you chili to be all colorful and shit. Maybe you want to make it blue instead, I don’t know your life!
6. Bottle it, Tupperware it or Can it, I don’t give a fuck. Even without canning ,it will stay some months. Enjoy!